Nikola Jokić- The Once and Future King


In Serbian mythology, there exists a dragon, Zmaj, renowned for his wisdom, might, and expertise in magic. Now due to his immeasurable power and contentment spending his days bathing in riches and dragon babes, Zmaj tends not to interfere with mortal affairs… but he has been known to dabble. Recently, Zmaj has chosen to enter the realm of American basketball taking the form of a Serbian doughboy and playing under the name Nikola Jokić. At first the mighty dragon took pity on the league and only participated for a fraction of the games’ 48 minutes, but something has changed recently in Zmaj’s demeanor and he now sees fit to wreak havoc on the entirety of the NBA.

His message is clear: јеби KD.


Nikola Jokić possesses the knowledge of a mythical, immortal dragon and therefore is quite hard to stump on the basketball court. He sees passing lanes open seconds in advance which helps Jokić carve up opposing defenses in the most magical ways possible.

Another classic move from the Joker, the mortals’ nickname for the dragon’s human form, is to feint with an on-court mishap and then strike hard affirming to his opponents the notion that he had them right where he wanted them.

Jokić clearly has no chill. Get it? Because he’s a dragon, and dragons breathe fire… I don’t think you’re getting it.


Now I’m not going to say that Jokić is the strongest player in the league because I like to pretend that I have at least some credibility. One area of his game that certainly puts some might on display, though, is the Joker’s ability to rebound the ball. In fact, in the past month Jokić has more offensive rebounds than Deandre Jordan, Rudy Gobert, and Dwight Howard… combined! individually of course.

Bias aside, Nikola Jokić is far from a “mighty” player right now. He’s quite young at 22 and still has a bit of baby fat to lose, but give him a few more years and I’m sure he will look like the Serbian David Robinson.


Is it magic that the Joker has the 4th most triple doubles of any player in the nba this year?

Is it magic that all of those games have occurred since February 3rd of this year?

Is it magic that Jokić has the highest RPM of any center in the league this year?

Would I suck his dick like to interview Nikola Jokić personally?

The answer to all of these questions is Yes. But then again, is it really surprising that the human incarnation of a mythical dragon is tearing up a league containing players who literally think the Earth is flat?

No. No it is not.




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